It's come to my attention that this blog entry that I posted on my MySpace might benefit someone reading....so I'm going to post it, even though it's of a very similar thread to my post on Salvation. Hope you enjoy, and pray that it can touch someone hurting as much as I was.
This is the story of how I found my way when I didn't even know I was lost.
Early on in life, I came to a crossroads of sorts. There were a wide range of road choices to take. Some looked boring. Some were scary. Some looked interesting, but I didn't like the people on them. Some were just too crowded and full of sheep (aka people just following the crowd). So I took the little road off to the side. No one was going with me, I could just be myself and decide where I wanted to go.
I had friends that came along and said "Why don't you come walk on our road with us?" "No," I'd say. I have my own road and I'm content with it. "But do you know where it's going?" they'd say. Well, not really, but that was half the fun right? Then others came along and tried to force me onto their road. They said their road was better. That everything that was enjoyable on my road was wrong, and I should be on a road without those things. Well, that wasn't very convincing, so I just fought them off and walked even faster down my road. Sure, there were a few wrong way signs posted here and there, but how did THEY know it was the wrong way.
Along the way as I traveled, I picked up souvenirs. I kept them in a pack on my back. They weren't all good souvenirs, but they reminded me of the things I'd seen and the places I'd been. Some of them I had tried to leave behind, but for some reason they kept appearing in my pack. Sometimes, as I would look through my pack, a bad souvenir would turn up. Usually, I'd just cram it to the bottom and put the good ones on top. Did I mention the bad ones were REALLY heavy?
Before long, I ran across someone I thought would be good company on my walk. I could talk to him and we'd often go to the same places. We made a pact to walk together for the rest of our lives. He'd be my walking mate. But eventually I realized that we weren't on the same road at all. His was just beside mine. Then our roads began to part. At first it was only for short times, and the two roads would meet back up. Then the parting would be longer and longer until it got to a point that we hardly knew each other when we'd meet back up. We weren't comfortable with each other any more. And his souvenirs were different. His didn't seem to be as heavy as mine. (Of course I told myself it was because he was a big strong man). Then I came to another crossroads. One road joined up with his. The other went off in another direction, one that you couldn't quite see what was around the bend. I chose to see what was around the bend and left him behind on his own road. I didn't know him anymore any way, and who knows what was ahead for me on my own road!
Now the sign folks got really crazy here because there were wrong way signs EVERYWHERE. But they seemed unimportant and not meant for me. So I began to ignore them. I should have paid attention….because the bridge was out ahead. I fell. It was a dark ravine, and I couldn't see the bottom of it. I was able to catch hold of the side, but the weight of my pack was pulling me down. I tried to pull it off, but I couldn't. Over the years, it had become stuck.
I cried out for help and a hand pulled me back over the side. I didn't see who the hand belonged to, but I could tell it was someone much more powerful than me. I turned to look at the ravine. There was a path that led down, and I could see the road went on past it. But I couldn't see what was in the bottom of the ravine, nor could I see where the road itself led. What other pitfalls were ahead? Maybe I did need a guide. I started to head back towards where I knew my walking mate had been. But I couldn't quite figure out where he'd gone. Then in the distance I saw him walking towards me.
He was still on his own road, but it was beside mine again. He then handed me a map. I looked at it and said, how do you KNOW this is the right map? Just look at it and you'll see he said. See…it shows you how to get on my road. But I thought, do I really want to be on that road? It seemed so full of people that I didn't want to walk with. I tuned around to continue on my own road. But there was a HUGE bill board in the way. It said, WHAT ELSE DO I NEED TO SAY TO YOU? Then I realized that I was missing the point. It was still MY walk. It would be my road if I chose to walk it. And I had a map that showed me where this road ended up. And it also showed me that my family would be there at the end.
I went to the crossroads again. Strangely it was still a hard choice to make. But finally standing there, I could see clearly the two roads. One looked like a good road at first, but you could see it was desolate, lonely. And there were huge areas that were so dark. The other road was worn, even bumpy in places, but the sun shone on it the whole way. And there was a Great Man at a weigh station that was taking everyone's pack for them. They weren't being drug down by the weight of their souvenirs. This was not a road you walked alone. I could finally see the choice I had to make. So I asked Him to take my pack from me, and thanked Him for the road. I still can't see everything that the road will lead me to, but I know where it ends, and who'll be there with me.